alone.

Dan and I got into another fight about his drug addiction. What makes me most angry is when he lies to me, and that's what makes me lash out. The more we fight, the colder my words get. The last 3 fights I've said stuff that I meant but also hated to say to him. Don't you hate to tell the truth when you know it's gonna tear someone up? Like if you found out your best friends boyfriend was cheating on them and you had to tell your best friend even though you know it would crush them?

I'm sorry I said what I said but it needed to be said. I'm sorry my words were cold. I'm sorry I'll never tell you the things you really wanna hear and I'll never be who you want me to be. You'll never be who I want you to be. 

Some people ask me why I ever dated him in the first place. Or why didn't I leave him before? 

Dan and I were friends before we started dating. And because of his addiction, I never wanted to date him. But after months of hanging out and realizing we have a lot in common, it just happened naturally. And here we are 6 years later. April will be 4 years since Dan has done heroin. I can't even believe it has already been that long. At the same time it has felt like it's been forever.

Soul mates? I dont know. I don't know.

How am I supposed to know if Dan is my soul mate of I still have 60 years of my life to live. My soul mate could be someone I haven't met.